1 star-- Emergency Attraction (Love Emergency #3) by Samanthe Beck

Note: I accidentally deleted 6 months of the blog so this is a repost. All comments on the original posts were unfortunately lost. Sorry!

I've really enjoyed Beck's books and had such a good time with book one-- Emergency Engagement. And LOVED book two-- Emergency Delivery. It was one of my favorite reads this year.

Emergency Attraction and I, though? Well, yall, we did not get along. No, ma'am. We sure did not.

The Gist: It's been 10 years since things fell apart between Shane and Sinclair. He went off to join the Marines and by the time he was able to get in touch she decided she didn't want to hear from him anymore because he'd not contacted her soon enough. And so they went on to lead their separate lives. Now he's back in town for a job he's determined to set things right between them.

1 star-- The Rescuer by Ann Omasta

Note: I accidentally deleted 6 months of the blog so this is a repost. All comments on the original posts were unfortunately lost. Sorry!

What the fresh fucking hell?! This is one of those reads someone should have stepped in and said no. Just...no. What a ridiculous mess. I'm actually kind of pissed it wasted my time. Yall. I'm about to have me a rant. So, yeah, there will be spoilers in this review.

The Gist: The heroine finds herself at the bank during a robbery and offers herself up as the hostage so they'll leave a little deaf girl alone. She'd been eye fucking the girl's daddy while waiting in line and just couldn't let her be taken.

[1 Star Review] Satyr's Myst (Satyr's Myst #3) by Marie Harte

Note: I accidentally deleted 6 months of the blog so this is a repost. All comments on the original posts were unfortunately lost. Sorry!

Nope. Noooope. Nope. Satyr's Myst is what gives erotica a bad name. Flat characters, icky sex scenes, uninspired banter.

The Gist: Rick's life is in danger and, well, his ex has decided to keep him safe by...having him kidnapped and kept under lock and key by two sexy captors until they're able to track down the bad guys. And so begins a couple weeks of sexing up, well, everyone in residence.

1 stars-- Good Girls Don't Date Rock Stars (Rock Canyon, Idaho #2) by Codi Gary

It's not really a good sign when you finish a book and your first thought is "thank fuck this one is finally over" Good Girls Don't Date Rock Stars was retched and all because of that supposed "good girl" heroine. Oh and that "rock star" is a country musician.

The Gist: Gemma opted to hide the fact Travis had a kid. For 10 years. An accidental run in in Vegas, though, led to him finding out...but not from her. Oh no. She was going to fuck him for a weekend and then go on with her life with him none the wiser. Even after she accidentally married him she was gonna keep hiding that kid and just get it annulled. 

1 star-- The Edge of Never (The Edge of Never #1) by J.A. Redmerski

Well, this was unfortunate. The Edge of Never has been sitting on my review pile since ,well, forever. And I finally dove in. And, yall. Ugh. It definitely landed on my "did I read a different book than everyone else" shelf.

The Gist: Camryn can't deal with her life so she's running away. Yup. Packed a bag and booked it to the bus station picking a random spot across country based on what the ticket agent was eating. And she meets a guy.

1.5 stars-- Luckiest Cowboy of All (happy, Texas #3) by Carolyn Brown

Luckiest Cowboy of All my ample white ass! This book made me so mad!

The Gist: Charlene's decided she needs roots and it's time to head back home 9 years after she packed up her bags and fled. Those 9 years? Well she's been hiding her daughter from the baby daddy. Now she's just hoping maybe he won't realize he's the daddy until she's ready to tell him.  Ugh!

1 star-- Dazzling (Diamond Trilogy #1) by Elizabeth Hayley

IT'S A CLIFFHANGER!!! *rage, yall, rage*

I'm feeling rather pissy right now over Dazzling. This was my first time reading this writing duo and likely my last. I'm so disappointed, yall!

The premise started out well enough-- rich hero falls for poor--and reluctant-- heroine and sets out to win her over.

DNF-- Dare You to Run (Unbroken Heroes #2) by Dawn Ryder

Things did not go well with me and Dare You to Run. I DNF-d at 33%. I usually try to make it to at least 50% but nothing had me engaged or even remotely enjoying it--characters, plot, sex scenes, etc. Basic gist is Vitus rescued Damascus and they got hit with a case of insta-lust/love but then are separated for years before coming back into each others lives... just as she's about to escape her father's clutches.

Alright so what didn't work.

1 star-- Too Wild to Tame (Romancing the Clarksons #2) by Tessa Bailey

A review I never thought I'd post. I kinda feel like I've been knocked down on my ass but for the first time I didn't love one from Bailey. Seriously that's something I never thought would happen. But Too Wild to Tame just didn't work for me at all and was a struggle from pretty early on. I'd almost DNFd it at 30% but pushed trough hoping things would turn around but sadly they just didn't for a number of reasons.

1 star-- The Billionaire’s Favorite Mistake (Billionaires and Bridesmaids #4) by Jessica Clare

Well, that did not go well. At all. Pretty much the only thing I enjoyed about The Billionaire's Favorite Mistake was the "Billionaire" and even he was questionable. Typically I love Clare's writing and have had a blast with this series and the one it's connected to. The Billionaire's Favorite Mistake and I, however, did not get along. There will be spoilers. Because I'm annoyed. And long. Because I'm annoyed even 12 hours after finishing. Sorry.

Alright so the gist is that Greer has loved her buddy Asher for pretty much ever but he's never seen her as more than a friend and she's ready to make him finally notice her. So she's gonna tart herself up and come on to him at a party and win his heart. Instead she gets bad drunk sex, winds up pregnant and pulls a runner and never talk to him again. Plans are of course foiled when he finds out and wants to win her back.

DNF/ 1 star-- How to Handle a Scandal (The Scandalous Sisters #2) by Emily Greenwood

< There will be spoilers for this one >

Oooo! I love a second chance romance trope. Plus the gorgeous cover? Totally in.

Aaaaaand DNFd at the midway point.

The quick of it is that when they were young Tommy proposed and Lizzie...laughed. She was young and stupid and hurt him badly which sent him off to India for years. He's come home for a visit a hardened man. A hero. And someone who had little interest in the flighty girl who hurt him years earlier even if everyone claims she's changed.

1 star--Unexpected Rush (Play by Play #11) by Jaci Burton

I'm starting out with the fact that I seriously can't believe I'm giving a Jaci Burton book a 1 star review. I freaking love this series. It's one of my comfort series. But Unexpected Rush did not mesh well with me at all.

The quick of it is that Harmony has just broken up with her boyfriend and she's set her eyes on her brothers best friend and teammate, Barrett. She's had a bit of a crush on him since she was a kid and she's ready to make things happen. He on the other hand is reluctant seeing as how he knows it's going to hurt his relationship with her brother and that relationship means the world to him. And so begins a push and pull game of you know you want it--no I don't--yes you do and I'm gonna prove it.

1 star/DNF--How to Wrangle a Cowboy (Cowboys of Decker Ranch #3) by Joanne Kennedy

Cowboys! I love cowboys. And I was kind of digging the set up on this one. After her long estranged grand dad passed away Lindsey's come back home for the funeral only to find out she's now the new owner of a sprawling family ranch. Even worse? She's gotta deal with the ranch foreman who just rubs her wrong. She's sure he's trying to con her grandmom. And his feelings aren't much more friendly towards her and her intentions. That could totally lead to some fiery interactions, right?

Alright, despite a set up I would typically enjoy and a single daddy hero (total sucker for those!) How to Wrangle a Cowboy turned out to be a DNF at the 50% mark. There were just too many things I couldn't get past that landed it in the meh category.

Alright so...

1 star--Trim Healthy Mama Cookbook by Pearl Barrett & Serene Allison

In their debut cookbook, the Trim Healthy Mama’s share hundreds of delicious, healthy recipes to help readers successfully slim down while eating well.  This companion cookbook to the bestselling Trim Healthy Mama Plan is just what readers have been waiting for. It features simple, mouthwatering, recipes for breakfast, lunch and dinner—including slow cooker and one-pot meals, hearty soups and salads, omelets and waffles, pizzas, breads and more.  No Trim Healthy Mama should be deprived, so there are also favorite snacks, delectable desserts, and the smoothies, sippers and teas fans love. With  pantry-stocking advice, time-saving tips, and information on how to cook for the entire family, the Trim Healthy Mama Cookbook offers a delicious and nutritious way to make trim and healthy meals with less stress—so you have more time with your loved ones.

Type: Cookbook
Difficulty of Recipe: Easy to Moderate (mainly because of ingredients)
Rating: 1 star

Amazon | Goodreads

So. This is a first for me.  I saw Trim Healthy Mama Cookbook and thought it looked great. Healthy recipes and a focus on slimming down without losing awesome recipes and taste. And it's HUGE with over 350 recipes. But, for me, that's where the good bits ended. This is the first time I'm giving a cookbook a 1 star rating. There ended up being very little about this cookbook that worked for me. It was a huge disappointment especially after seeing hundreds of 5 star reviews it has received. From expensive and difficult to find ingredients to weird inclusions and lack of veggie friendliness it was a bust. It made me think of an ex friend who would fall into the category of hippy dippy earth mama who would say things and you'd just have that look on your face like say what now?

1 star--Playing Hard to Master (Masters Unleashed, #2) by Sparrow Beckett

Playing Hard to Master was one of those books where I feel like I've read a completely different version than everyone else.

The quick of it is that Ambrose has gone in for a haircut and the stylist...totally catches his eye and in a slip of the tongue he finds out that she's just as kinky as he is. Woohoo! And he is in and the woo-ing is on!

While I liked a couple things there were just so many others that didn't work for me and they bothered me enough that I'm gonna break it down.

Safe at Last (Slow Burn #3) by Maya Banks

The quick of it is that years ago Zack was in love but one day she just...disappeared. And he's spent 12 years searching for her and trying to survive the heartache of not knowing what happened to her. And now he's walked into a security job and recognizes a scene from a painting hanging on the wall. One only his lost love would have been able to paint. He's found her! Only Anna-Grace...is terrified of him and he'll be damned if he can figure out why. Add in a bit of drama from some bad guys, a little life or death and trying to figure out what happened all those years ago pretty much consumes Zack's life.

A Duke but No Gentleman (Masters of Seduction #1) by Alexandra Hawkins

***Blogger friends. I know. I suck! I'm still not visiting blogs. I'm trying desperately to get everything done for the Support the Troops Auction that starts tomorrow. We ended up with over 60 donations and that means 60+ listings and 60+ individual graphics. It's double what we had last year. Eeps! I will visit blogs as soon as I can and catch up with you all :D And...the auction listings are HERE if you want to check them out. OMG there are some AMAZING ones! ~Anna

 

This was me for pretty much all of A Duke But No Gentleman. It...did not go well.

Read ahead at your own risk. I'm including spoilers because I don't know how else to do this one.

and then there was a sad...a couple dnfs--The Perfect Stranger, The Unleashing, Sharp Shootin' Cowboy

Alas, sometimes a dnf happens. Here are a few that were misses for me.

Vicious Cycle (Vicious Cycle #1) by Katie Ashley

Unfortunately, Vicious Cycle was not for me. The only way I can think to explain it is like watching a little girl playing dress up in her mother's clothes and high heels. All the bits are there but things just don't fit quite right. This one was trying to be a motorcycle club romance but it just couldn't quite figure out how to get there and ended up being a pretty flat rendition of one. The words might have been right, the set up right but it lacked the grit, depth and believable flavors of an MC.

I was actually doing okay with this one for the first little bit. It was no where near the levels of Sheehan or Joanna Wylde's MCs but none the less it was entertaining. A single daddy who was new to the job raising his daughter, her life being in danger and her school teacher snooping around and getting involved in their world. It had some great elements that were working for me. But then slowly bit by bit it fell apart and kept getting more outlandish and unbelievable.

DNF--After The Storm (KGI #8) by Maya Banks

Over the years, Donovan Kelly has fought relentlessly for justice, women and children always holding a special place in his heart. Working side by side with his brothers, Donovan has witnessed firsthand the toll it’s taken—physically, mentally, and emotionally—on his loved ones, and the innocent lives caught in the crossfire. What he never expects is for his next mission to happen right on his home turf—or for it to take a very personal turn.

Picturesque Kentucky Lake is the perfect place for a soul in search of safe harbor. A beautiful stranger has arrived—desperate, breathless, and on the run from a dark past closing in on her and the younger siblings she has vowed to protect. Donovan must now draw on every resource at his disposal—if he wants to save a woman and the children who may prove to be his destiny.

Type: Romantic Suspense
Heat: N/A tension but nothing at point of DNF
Rating: DNF/1 star out of 5

Amazon | Goodreads

So. Yall know, I love me some Kelly brothers. Absolutely love them. These guys are pretty much everything I look for in a hero or fictional family. I'm always pretty damn excited when a new one hits the shelves. So it's pretty incredible for me to actually be typing this but After the Storm has joined the minuscule list of books I've DNF'd.

There were things I liked, of course. I mean, it's the Kelly family, hello! They're amazing! Sexy and alpha and all make-a-girl-swoon amazing. And there were some nice scenes at the beginning that really had my heart pounding. But it was the romance that had me calling this one quits by the 50% mark.